Something new I thought it might be.

So many thoughts, so certain and so unserctain.
English again... I havn't been doing this for 6 years. Since that painfull day, since my life've changed for ever in this life. Why am I running away in this again? Why am I running in english again? It's easier. It's easier to speak as the different person. It's easier to talk as someone else about my self. I'm closing my shell again.
Diego Pelaez - Abre de la puerta mi amor - funny, so light, so positive.
I screwed up again. Thought I've found someone I can talk to. Was wrong. I've made my mistake in a time I misssed to talk to. Why? It's easy - no one wants to listen this kind of crap I have to say.
Lets get back to the begining.
I saw her.
I couldn't belive so delicate the girl can be. The second thought was: how to knew her not to beeing sketched out at once? An idea was so obvious that I couldn't stand not to remember her name from her name plate she was wearing on her brest.
So simple, so infantile, tv soap sequal falls on their knees :)
It wasn't anything big, just a simple glory on a beauty smile, hair-dress. Few days went. She Noticed my sign below her picture. Irritaiting, intrigue - who was he? Finaly she find that out how I find her.
Curtains fallen, but not all of them... The last one let me knwe a few things she is, she likes, she hates.
Uncredibly familiar things. Uncredibly simmilar need - to have someone to live for and the same in opposite side. To choose who it's gonna be, and waiting for the "one". Two fighting eachother needs.
which is better: to wait ora to choose? Both of them might have never let to have sleep in love. If you do nothing but waiting - you might have waiting for ever and never wait up. If you start looking for and choose - you might do a wrong choose, and loose all your secrets've been hidden for the "only one".
What's better?
Compliment after compliment, so natural, so truth, so real, so personal --- and finally t o o p e r s o n a l , with no permission for.
Half a second, maby less, a quick glance at each other in a real world...
Few hours later the last of the least curtains fall.
The end, the begining of the end. Things ends up within next 24 hours - by theirself.

What did kill that huge opportunity of faith? What have made this flower died before getting in to the wase?
The need of choosing so big as Elbrus Mountain? Need of independence so wide as Paciffic Ocean?
Possible.
What's the lesson? Delicate girls are not as they say they are. Smooth smiling girls are not as theirs smiles.
Question: What's left to do, to be?
Answer: To close my shell, to hide behind the mask of irony.